The deepest wounds feel like they’ll last a lifetime: The absent mother who robbed you of the mother-daughter bond you craved and deserved. The eighth-grade bully who turned the classroom into a living nightmare. The boyfriend who broke his promises and chose her instead.
You feel bitter. You still hold a grudge. But clinging to those betrayals and disappointments, that hurt, is bad for the body and mind. “It’s inevitable that we’ll all be hurt by others, and that it will happen often,” says clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, who’s based in Pasadena, Calif. “People have accidents, make mistakes, behave selfishly, and even intentionally try to hurt one another. We can’t escape it. Forgiveness is a vulnerable act that can feel like it opens us up to more pain. But we need to have a way to process and let go of the effects of injury, or we risk serious physical and emotional consequences.” Continue reading →
Whether you’re new or old to mindfulness, you’ve likely heard the definition that it is a “intentional non-judgmental awareness of the present moment.” There’s a lot of confusion around the term non-judgment. Years ago, before I began being more intentional with a mindfulness practice I had a friend practicing meditation and he told me that he was practicing being completely detached from everything in a non-judgmental way. That didn’t seem too fun to me. Today, many of us can still be confused by this term, so what does it really mean? Continue reading →
Here, we want to talk about The Law of Acceptance and Divine Order. Imagine being and resting in the fact that everything is happening for the best, no matter what is happening right now. And imagine for a moment accepting everyone just as they are, knowing they are exactly how they are meant to be just at this moment. And not only is everything OK in your life, but YOU are OK too, just as you are meant to be right now! This is the peace and serenity that comes from living in the law of Acceptance and Divine Order.
We have talked about being spiritual beings on a human journey, always connected to our Source. Being connected to our Spiritual Source, it is wonderful to rest in the knowing that this source will always provide exactly what we need, when we need it. We realize our lives are under the influence of a positive, wonderful, life flow. We live in this constant flow, and often our stresses and problems are the result of us pushing against it, out of fear or unknowing. Continue reading →
We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.
And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, and have a hard time letting go.
This causes problems. It not only causes us to be unhappy, but can strain or ruin relationships, distract us from work and family and other important things, make us reluctant to open up to new things and people. We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens. Continue reading →
Everyone messes up. Me, you, the neighbors, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, King David, the Buddha, everybody.
It’s important to acknowledge mistakes, feel appropriate remorse, and learn from them so they don’t happen again. But most people keep beating themselves up way past the point of usefulness: they’re unfairly self-critical. Continue reading →
“When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each other’s presence.” Fredrick Buechner
Peace is not possible without forgiveness. Martin Luther King once said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” The only way children can learn the habit of forgiveness is by seeing us, their parents, forgive others and forgive ourselves. Continue reading →